24 Recap: Thinking About the Possibility of a Movie

This week’s episode of 24 was good—probably the best since the openers—but it’s still not great. If you’re not bringing out your big guns during Sweeps, especially going against the Olympics, when do you plan to bring them out? Maybe the problem is that 24 doesn’t have big guns anymore. It’s a sad thought. For me, it was like when David Cone suffered through the 2000 baseball season for the Yankees. You kept on waiting for him to get over the hump and show signs of his former, dominant self who helped the Yankees change their pitching persona. But it never happened…at least not during the regular season. But the Yankees gave Cone a chance in the World Series in a huge spot against the Mets best hitter, Mike Piazza. It was a role unfamiliar to the lifelong starter, Cone, who came in as a reliever, but Cone got Piazza to pop up. It got me to thinking: can this 24 movie idea—that Variety says has gained some serious traction (H/T Jay)—be the positive final hurrah we’re all looking forward to for Jack Bauer?

24’s biggest problem now is what made it popular when the show debuted: the real-time format. In real-time, Jack can’t show ill effects of having the crap beat out of him, he can’t be limping or injured, and he certainly can’t go to the hospital. That’s why it was funny this week when the EMT told Jack he “had” to go to the hospital. Jack said “that’s not happening”, but we all knew his answer before he even said it. Jack has gotten beaten and tortured and knocked around. He’s even been stabbed. But he seems to have no signs of it. No black eye, no bleeding cuts, no lingering problems.

In 24’s first three seasons, the show seemed to succeed for me because they kept his injuries somewhat real, which kept the show somewhat real. In Season 1, Jack fell asleep from exhaustion while hiding out at the construction site and almost blew his cover. In Season 2, Jack’s heart having stopped from being tortured affected him the rest of the season, especially in the last episode when his heart gave way momentarily. In Season 3, Jack seemed to be over heroin addiction in under 24 hours, but at least for a while he seemed to suffer from the real effects of withdraw. Even last season he seemed to be slowing down at the end from the effects from radiation poisoning.

Now? None of that. The format is such on 24 that events can’t stop for trivial things like hospital visits or doctor’s appointments. But 24 is trapped in that real-time format and stuck with the hour-to-hour, week-to-week grind of having to produce 24 episodes that people want to watch.

So how do they get out of that mold? Do a movie. On paper, this is a brilliant idea. The show as it has been constituted hasn’t worked for a whole season since Season 5. There have been flashes of brilliance along the way but the show gets too tied down in sideplots and details and episodes that go no place to be constantly good anymore. Part of it has been that they’ve run out of fresh ideas, but part of it is that they’re a victim of their own success. And while the parts of the show that are good—the flashes of brilliance—may not be enough to carry the show. But they could carry a movie.

Let’s break out the problems I foresee:

1. Billy Ray is writing the screenplay. No offense to Ray, but when Variety lists “Flightplan” and “Shattered Glass” among your most recognizable movies, you’re not exactly who I want to finish the epic series of one of my favorite shows. It would be like asking George Lopez to go and write a Seinfeld movie. No, no, no…I take it back—nothing could be that bad.
2. Jack Bauer in Europe. Part of the appeal of “Jack Bauer” has been that he’s the American hero (which is ironic considering he’s Canadian, but, regardless). You bring him to Europe and you lose some of the draw of the American audience who wants to see him stop nuclear bombs, assassination attempts, and nerve gas attacks on United States soil. It doesn’t exactly jell with the whole “Freedom Fries” ideal if Jack Bauer is saving the French from disaster.
3. The idea that they could do a 9th season (and beyond). If they do this movie, it has to be it: Jack’s last hurrah. If they’re planning to go back to the television screen after playing Jack that large, it could be problematic for a show that’s run out of fresh ideas already. And the problem is that any success in the movie probably gets the show renewed. So it could be a victim of its own success yet again.
4. The suggestion they could do a season while filming the movie. This is the most troublesome of all. They have enough problems squeezing enough good juice out of a whole fruit but to cut some in half and send it off to shoot a movie would seriously deteriorate the quality of both the show and the movie.
5. The fact that this has been a 24-hour show format. 24 is called such because the events take place within a 24-hour time span. What happens when you only have two hours for a movie? The made-for-TV movie Redemption worked (it won a bunch of Emmys for best miniseries or TV movie) so it gives me hope that the movie version on the big screen could work out in the end.

Let’s get back to the actual season in front of us for a quick recap. Denny and her boyfriend are pushing this Really. Bad. Sideplot. to a new level. He’s not going to leave after just one big score? OMG! She's now going to be their Golden Goose. She’s so surprised that it’s almost comical. Though it’s not, at all. It’s become such a predictable and boring subplot that if she doesn’t just shoot him in this next episode and get it over with, I’m calling Bubba and having CTU take care of it. Enough is enough already. Arlo The Horndog was my favorite character from last episode because he was actually trying to put an end to this idiotic affair. Maybe he just needs to send a drone to take them out. Maybe take her out too while you’re at it. Especially since her white trash accent returned this week when she got upset. We don't need that.

Hassan has gone all Freckles-from-a-few-episodes-ago and is totally off his rocker. His daughter tries to set him straight but he’s not having any of it. I don’t think his daughter is going to so innocently say goodbye in the next hour when she has a chance. Just a hunch. Amazingly, what Hassan is doing may be killing the peace process and making the United States upset, but it ends up that if he succeeds with his crackdown, it’ll make his brother illegitimate and kill his chances of acquiring the nuclear rods for any real purpose. So restricting human rights can stave off a coup and a nuclear acquisition? Yay China/The Patriot Act!

Back at CTNew (like how I did that?), Freckles is blaming herself for Jack’s predicament, Chloe is the voice of reason again (which is scaring the shit out of me), and Bubba is so concerned with running a tight ship but doesn’t care that his lead analyst keeps on disappearing. You can’t blame this one on woman problems, Denny. Or maybe she can. Every excuse she has seems to be fine. The woman just freaking left as they were about to go after the nuclear rods. If this isn’t enough to can her ass, I don’t know what is at CTNew*. I mean the girl did lie about her identity and is fraternizing in the office. Ugh, seriously, just fire her already and get it over with.

*Side Note: I know that the United States government “spares no expense” for public safety and terrorism prevention, but how many billions of dollars did they have to spend on this place? Was it really necessary? Can’t people open their own doors or do without some of the ridiculous things they’ve given them? Could they then spend that money on working drones or more satellites or better personnel or Human Resources or better background checks on their employees? It may be CTNew, but it’s still ridiculous at times. 

The last plot was the best: Jack vs. the Baron. The game? Das Boot! Torture! Sayid would be proud of this guy and would relate to the whole "torturer being toru. Jack is able to subdue the guy and break away. So what does Jack do next? He turns off the power and kills everyone--with an Uzi (this is sort of like bringing out the big guns--literally). Except for the Baron. Who seemed to know what was up the whole time. They capture the Baron and have a deal in place to give him and The Good Son immunity for the nuclear rods. Realizing the gig is up, the Baron cries more than when he found out that he had stolen the recipe for a low-carb Strawberry beer. And he gives up the location.

Except The Good Son is not so good anymore—he’s really evil! And he wants to get back at his daddy! How delicious! Or is it? I feel like we're grasping at straws at times and this is certainly one of those. It’s the plot that we’re dealt with and it seems like it could be getting better, but the show still isn’t up to snuff for 24. Let’s hope they find a way to salvage the rest of this season with this plot and that we can end 24—the TV show—on a positive note. Then let’s move on to a movie and give Jack Bauer one last final shining moment on the big screen so he can end with a positive note like David Cone. One last spot for Jack in one unfamiliar role with one chance to end this series on the best note possible—I can’t think of anything better.

Season grade so far: B-. Still not over the hump just yet, but it has some promise. Not giving it a grade higher until it delivers on that, however.

Best line of the week: [On being told he needs to go to the hospital] "Not happening" - Jack. Jack doesn't do no hospitals. It was delivered perfectly and quickly.

Best moment of the week: Jack with the Uzis. I mean the only thing better than Jack with a gun is Jack with a bigger gun. So this was an easy choice. Second place was The Artist Formerly Known As the Good Son with the big "F.U." to his dad.

Ari's body count: 32 total. He counts the two in the truck and five back at the Russian/Ukrainian lair. 7 is a good number for this show as we start to build up the kill count.

Thoughts? Comments? Love this episode? Like the movie idea? Let me know in the comments below!