Vincent Gambini: Okay, you're helping. We'll use your pictures. Ah! These *are* gonna be - you know, I'm sorry, these are going to be a help. I should have looked at these pictures before. I like this, uh, this is our first hotel room, right? That'll intimidate Trotter. Here's one of me from behind. And I didn't think I could feel worse than I did a couple of seconds ago. Thank you. Ah, here's a good one of the tire marks. Could we get any farther away? Where'd you shoot this, from up in a tree? What's this over here? It's dog shit. Dog shit! That's great! Dog shit, what a clue! Why didn't I think of that? Here's one of me reading. Terrific. I should've asked you a long time ago for these pictures. Holy shit, you got it, honey! You did it! The case cracker, me in the shower! Ha ha! I love this! That's it!If I were a Mets fan, this is what I'd be saying upon learning that Omar Minaya signed Rod Barajas:
Ahh, Gary Matthews Jr. That'll really win us the division. Kelvim Escobar? I didn't think I could feel worse than I did a couple of seconds ago. Here's one that'll really light up the fan base: Frank Catalanatto. Could we get any less power from our bench? Where did you find this guy, double A in Wichita? Now what's this over here? Holy shit, Omar, you did it! The key to the entire season!! ROD BARAJAS!! I love this move! That's it, Omar, you really turned the corner with this one!!I realize that my analogy doesn't really work because the Mets haven't acquired anyone who will surprise everyone by getting them to win the World Series. Please....we all know that Omar Minaya is no Mona Lisa Vito or Vincent LaGuardia Gambini. Besides, this is more for laughs than for an airtight analogy.
Truth be told, when I look at the Mets' transactions this offseason, I have to agree with Ben Wolinsky that Frank Catalanatto is a very low risk/possibly high reward acquisition for a contending team. But on the Mets, it will likely prove insignificant. The team has some huge holes....I even wonder how great Johan may or may not be this year......and they needed to make a bigger splash than Jason Bay this offseason if they want to turn things around.
Of course, Ari being Ari made the obligatory "I hope CC chokes on a cheeseburger" joke to retaliate for me pointing out the obvious. Sorry, Mets fans, CC will choke on a cheeseburger right after Rod Barajas chokes on a chili cheese dog (listed conservatively at 6'2" and 250 lbs). Plus, fans of teams with a fat guy should not make fun of other teams with a fat guy.
Picture from The Star-Ledger
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Yo, there are a whole lot of fat guys in baseball. It's stupid to make fun of any of them. But I mean, Ortiz and Schilling did make it so much fun.
ReplyDeleteOh and the Mets suck. They're going to be so bad again this summer. This entire thing is a joke.
ReplyDelete"Are you mocking me with that post?" - Rod Barajas
ReplyDeleteAnd CC wouldn't choke on a cheeseburger, he would choke on a footlong sub from Subway where he goes with his pal Johan Santana who calls him "ZZ"
No, Rod, I'm not mocking you. What'd I say, what?
ReplyDeleteonly thing is...you forgot the tire marks, ie Jose Reyes, John Maine, Oliver Perez and Carlos Beltran (come May, hopefully). the biggest off-season acquisitions the Mets made were already on their team. I love that people are sleeping on the mets. this team is gonna shock and surprise people this year. and while Barajas is a big fat lard ass, i think that he will actually call a better game than last year's tandem of Santos/Schneider, thus making the pitchers better. he can bat like Brian Schneider for all i care if our pitchers pitch better. and i think you're gonna see Henry Blanco as Johan's personal catcher.
ReplyDeleteEric, I can't have that type of faith in this team. This is the same group of guys that fell apart two years ago and three years ago in September. It's the same group of guys who all got injured last season. And they really haven't done much to improve this team. I don't think that Jason Bay, Rod Barajas and Kelvim Escobar puts this team over the top. The Phillies are better, the Braves are still good, the Marlins are a year older...it may be another long summer in Flushing
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