24 recap: Peace, At What Cost?

It dawned on me while watching last night’s episode: what’s the big deal with this peace agreement? I mean the whole season has revolved around getting this peace agreement done because everyone wants to bring peace to a region that hasn’t had it for centuries. But are we still that naive to think that just because we have a few countries signing a peace accord that all will suddenly be well? Middle Eastern countries have been signing so-called peace agreements for a long time with not much change. A country like Israel has a peace agreement with quite a few of their neighbors and that hasn’t gone as well as planned. A peace agreement is only as good as the word of the next leader in power and in a region of the world that seems to be controlled by military takeovers, coups, and rigged democratic elections peace is about as everlasting as a piece of Bazooka bubble gum. I say all this not to trivialize the fact that everyone on 24 seems hellbent on peace in this episode—but more as a premise to say that a lot of people are being stabbed in the back and kicked in the nuts. And I ask, for what, truly are we still doing this? Especially since one of the biggest partners on the deal has now been revealed as a lying group of terrorist supporters (more on this ridiculous plot later). Even John Lennon wouldn’t want to give this peace a chance.

Welcome Back to the Cold War, Comrade Bauer

No matter how far we’ve come in the past few decades, we still revert back to one thing: blame the Russians. Racial sensitivities stop us from using any domestic minorities as scapegoats. Our strained foreign relations have made us sensitive about using any hostile foreigners. Even Fake Islamic Nation’s rebellious sect can’t possibly be planning this whole attack on their own—no, they definitely need the help of someone. So, we blame the Russians.

We should have known that Moscow was behind all of this mess when we open up on Jack with a bloody red shirt. Did you get that metaphor? No. Good. Let’s move on. Jack wants to be alone with Freckles dead body. I was pretty sure that with all the people he’s killed over his life, Jack had to be developing some type of necrophilia, but to poor Freckles? Oh, wait, nevermind, he just wants to be by her side. But the nurse comes in and tells Jack that he gets no more fun time--they need to move Frecks. The nurse then asks if Jack’s the husband? Why does she need to know this? Well the hospital wants to contact next of kin. Of course Jack doesn’t know anything about her family; this was a one-hour stand. “Are you going to be OK?” the nurse asks Jack. No, I don’t believe he will be.

Another nurse comes over and gives Jack some shoes and a shirt as he watches them wheel away her body and he cries. Those tears could kill a man. Phone rings. It’s Chloe. She knows that the Baron is the one to talk to. Jack wants to do it. She doesn’t want him to. He insists and gives his word. That’s what this episode is all about—as Lady GaGa sings: “I promise this, promise this.”

Jack goes to the Baron’s trial. He looks like he’s had some skunky beer and the judge isn’t taking any of his lawyer’s BS. Good for you, judge. Then a 5-minute recess. Jack and the Baron have a private meeting brokered by the Baron’s lawyer. Jack lays out another promise when he threatens to kill every member of the Baron’s family before they get home. Love Jack's threats when he gets angry. So evil, yet so convincing. The Baron tells Jack that Moscow is behind everything that happened today. Denny was their go-between. Uh oh.

Jack calls Chloe and tells her about his meeting with the Baron. Jack says he wants to come in and talk to Denny. More hemming and hawing about how he shouldn’t Wait, no, Chloe says it’s a good idea? Damn, I like this new Chloe-in-charge*. Chloe tells FP jr to watch Jack during the interrogation. See, that’s what I like to call taking a conversation offline. No need to tell Jack over the phone she doesn’t trust him when she can just tell someone else. She also tells FP jr that Denny was working with the Russians. I guess that explains the Russian curses yelled during sex, but I’m pretty sure this makes FP jr the worst member of the intelligence community. Didn’t you even Google her name?

*Side Note: How great would a spinoff about Chloe be? Just a ton of awkward faces and unappreciated compliments. They could even make it into a sitcom and make it about her and her friends. Imagine Chloe as the 5th girl on Sex in the City (though I'm not sure she's much of a Manolo girl). We could call it “Chloe In Charge” which would totally even blow away my thoughts of Charles in Charge. Let’s work on this FOX. Though, I think we saw from the previews for next week that we’re going to love “Chloe in Charge” for about as long as we loved Charles in Charge—about two episodes.

Jack comes back to CTU and is treated like a dead man walking. I think people were less apologetic when he looked like he was dying a horrible death at the hand of radiation exposure last season. Chloe is worried Jack will kill Denny. Why is she worried about this? I’ve been asking for it since hour 2! Jack says that he will just make her think she’s going to die. What Chloe doesn’t know is that Jack Bauer is so powerful that by making you think you’re going to die, he actually kills you. Your turn, Chuck Norris.

Jack walks into the totally ridiculous interrogation room (do we really need that door? Seriously? Blame it on the free-spending Democrats!) and starts going slap happy. Like beating the crap out of her. We see Jack hit women once in a while, but this is a whole new level. Chloe tells FP jr that he needs to stop Jack. FP jr likes what he sees. He even volunteers to slap her too. Actually, no, he doesn’t, but you get the sense that he’s not going to try to stop this. Denny says she has an audio file with proof that the highest levels of the Russians are involved straight through to Moscow. People obviously haven’t learned to stop getting caught on tape. Anyone hear of that Nixon guy? Well Denny needs witness protection before she’ll turn over the tapes. Jack leans in and says to Denny that if she lies to him, he’ll hunt her down no matter where she goes. Honestly, I’d just let her leave—she’s really not worth it.

Chucky Logan is Back

So it looks like everything’s just about wrapped up in CTU when we realize there needs to be another twist. That twist: Charles Logan. He’s now had a longer-running tenure (seasons-wise with four) than Sherry Palmer or Nina Myers. So this now makes him candidate 1A of people not to listen to and to do the opposite when he gives advice. Of course, this would be a good time to have Rob “Don’t Call Me Rahm Emmanuel” Weiss around as a Chief of Staff. Damn you, Ethan and your bad heart!

Instead we have the aforementioned Ethan who shows up in a suit and says he’s fine. That heart attack and being left to die thing didn’t do much to his overall health. Good to hear that. He must have had the same stem cell therapy that Jack had for his radiation. I’m telling you people: stem cells. Don Mattingly’s career would have been 10 years longer*.

*Side Note: Think about how much different history would be if people could have 24-like recoveries! Muhammed Ali: cured! Christopher Reeves: walking again! JFK: minor head wound! Magic Johnson: No more HIV! (well, that's basically the case with Magic...) It's amazing how quickly recoveries happen. Just amazing. I know it's TV, but I've seen people on the floor for longer with a sprained ankle than Ethan was after having a heart attack and being left for dead for a few hours while oxygen wasn't getting to his brain.

Ethan’s upset that the President sent Logan under her name with no set agenda. Well if you wouldn’t have gone and had a heart attack that hospitalized you for a few hours, she wouldn’t have done that. What a wimp! Logan goes to talk to Mikhael (I’m guessing on the spelling there). He tells Logan the Russians aren’t coming back to the bargaining table. Logan says he knows that people in the IRK weren’t the only ones involved in the planning. Wait who was? Logan accuses Moscow of being involved. Ohhh. Logan says he has information that he has not shared with President and says will keep it from her if the Russians come back to the peace process. And, of course, they do.

I was going to side note this, but I think this deserves a whole separate paragraph, but are we serious here? Does this not sound a little fishy to anyone? The Russians worked with a rogue sect of Fake Islamic Republic, helped them to smuggle nuclear material into the country, assassinate a revolutionary leader, build a nuclear bomb in New York City, plant a mole inside CTU, kill a former federal agent who had given her life to her country...and all because they don’t want this peace agreement to be signed. And yet a vague threat from a former President (who is lucky to not be in jail and is basically Nixon at this point) with no actual proof gets them to sign this treaty? They did all that and now they’re going to go back on their whole mission? Are we serious? Even if they had some sort of proof, there’s always deniability. And Logan had been the one who had put the Russian government in peril. Who the heck would believe him? What credibility would he have with anyone? But let’s all just ignore that and let the Russians sign a peace agreement they tried to undo at all costs. I say BS, 24. As Paul would say: BRUTAL!

Ethan wants to know how Logan got the Russians back to the table. Logan says he has his information and he wants to keep it secret. But he says that it’s nice to be of service. For some reason Logan's presence doesn't elicit a chill from people, but everyone freaked out when they heard this. Very odd. Logan says to his assistant that it’s nice to be “back in the game”. 

Well, it may be for long if he can't stop Jack Bauer so Logan gets a meeting with the President and Ethan. Logan says Bauer needs to be stopped and that he’s out of control. Logan tells her the truth (or, you know, something close to that). She wants more information and Logan's sources. Logan says that everyone will deny. Logan and Ethan argue about exposing the Russians and keeping it from Dalia. Logan says that the peace is available now or never. She’s thinking about going with Logan’s plan. The debate goes back and forth between Ethan and Logan with President Taylor in the middle. In the end, she shows which way she's going to rule by saying one thing: The President is going to go to CTU. Why? To see fucking Jack Bauer.

Thank You for Your Service--Here's a Knife in Your Back

President Taylor is already in a car and on her way to CTU when we come back from commercial. That security detail moves fast. Chloe said that she doesn’t want Jack to leave. And she gets there in less than 5 minutes. Wow. They must have been speeding. The President gives a speech to the CTU minions and thanks them for all their efforts today. Yes, they did a wonderful job. A foreign leader got killed, a nuke was on New York soil, they let themselves get compromised by an EMP. But a wonderful job all around. The President also trades looks with Jack. This can't be good.

It's not. Taylor asks Jack to stand down and says that she can’t give Denny immunity. This is not going to be pretty “You don’t want to know the truth,” Jack says to the President in his greatest impression of A Few Good Men. The President says there needs to be sacrifices. Yeah, Jack hasn't sacrificed anything so far. Come on, Madam President. Jack and her get into a screaming match. Jack wants justice, the President wants peace. If there was another way, she would take it (yawn). Jack won't be allowed to be kept around and become a rabble-rouser--she's locking him down. Good-bye Jack. Are they serious? Jack is out--for now (and I'm not happy about this, at all).

Chloe wants to know what's going on. Denny is to be locked down according to the President. Chloe and the President get into another shouting match. Not a good episode for the President. There's going to be a press conference in two hours for Dalia Hassan to announce her as the new leader and CTU is in charge of security. Yeah, I can't imagine anything will go down by that time. Chloe gets some praise from the President on the way out but is pretty unsettled by all of it. And not just because it was praise. She has a really, really awkward Chloe face right now.

So it looks like this is it for Jack and they're going to lock him up for the next 6 hours...when Jack pulls a gun on the officer. Jack is hijacking the helicopter--again (the first time a helicopter was Jack'd was when Jack broke Ramon Salazar out of prison in Season 3). Chloe threatens to shoot down the 'copter. That's not very nice, Chloe. This doesn't seem like it will end well. But the episode ended here.

Conclusion

OK, let me summarize. The Americans are about to stab in the back their greatest hero who has sacrificed everything for his country and has had countless Presidents say that the country owes him a huge debt of gratitude. Why? For a peace agreement which of course can be violated by any of the countries involved and probably will be violated because the Russians who were just blackmailed back to the table were willing to do anything in their power not to get the agreement signed in the first place. They don't want to tell Dalia Hassan until after the agreement is signed because they don't want her to back out knowing the Russians killed her husband--who they killed to stop the agreement from being signed. And this is all going through because Charles Logan, a traitor to his own country brokered the deal and everyone is going along with it like nothing is unKosher.

And the President who gave up her marriage and her daughter for "justice" was willing to let real justice slide in the name of this tenuous peace. Are we serious? Ethan, I feel for you right now. This is ridiculous. Totally, totally ridiculous. The Russians have zero interest in keeping up their end of the bargain and any sane person would realize this, yet the American President just sold Jack Bauer down the river for something that has become nothing more than a mission to have a Presidential legacy. There's a reason she doesn't want the truth. I'm going to go and say it: President Taylor, you're no better than President Logan if you go along with it. The blood of Omar Hassan, Freckles and everyone else who died today is now on your hands!

Season grade so far: A-/B+ I wanted to keep it at A-, but I got so upset writing this review they got downgraded. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I actually liked this episode overall. But the plot hole got to me. But I like Chloe in charge. I like Logan as a bad guy. I like Denny, the Baron and Ethan back in the picture. I just don't like the stretches.

Best line of the week: “You don’t want to know the truth” Jack says to the President. It's really the truth of the matter--she's doesn't want the truth. If she's take a second to realize what she's doing.

Best moment of the week: Jack slapping around Denny. Like the pent up sex being let out last week, this was a release I think we all needed. If Jack didn't slap her, I think I was going to reach through the screen and do so.

Ari's body count: 85. None this week. Maybe that's reason enough to downgrade the season. We averaged 5 deaths an episode coming into last night and we got none. NONE!

Thoughts? Agree with me about the plot hole? Excited for the end of the season? Have any clue where we're going to end up? Feel bad for Jack's treatment? Let us know in the comments below.

Pictures all from FOX.com