The WNBA Needs Taurasi's Extreme DUI

I know, that sounds ridiculous. But Diana Taurasi, one of the stars and faces of the WNBA, getting charged with "extreme" DUI may actually help the WNBA. Think about it: what do all the major sports have that the WNBA does not have (besides men and fans and money and respect)?

Controversy!

I think that the WNBA needs more of this.

Tamika Catchings? Steroids and HGH

Sue Bird? Shot herself in the leg at a club

Lisa Leslie? Went into the stands to fight a fan

Becky Hammon? Called her ex-boyfriend "sloppy seconds" (or maybe I should say ex-girlfriend with the rep of the WNBA)

I actually had to find names of popular WNBA players to be able to make that list (and just want to reiterate, that was all made up...as far as I know). You want to know why I had to look up those names? I don't read enough about them in the news. My grandmother never watches football but she damn well knows who Plaxico Burress is because the idiot thought it was a good plan to stick a loaded weapon into his sweatpants and go clubbing while he was injured. If we lined up eight girls that were 6 feet tall and you told someone to guess who Taurasi was, most people would probably need 8 guesses. Not Rosie O'Donnell, but most people.

So far there's no mugshot for Taurasi. We need that. People need to see her face. We need more rumors about her. Make her the badgirl of the WNBA. Put her in a relationship with a big celebrity. Get her on Page Six and TMZ. Make her Plax or T.O. or Manny Ramirez or A-Rod or Ron Artest or Sean Avery or Pacman Jones. Who brings more press than those people? They have their own crazy fans, too.

The last thing (and I know this is sexist, but bear with me), make a length limit for shorts--ie. make them shorter (like 1980s NBA). What women's sports do I watch? Beach volleyball and sometimes tennis. Why? Because of the high quality of competition and the outfits. Tennis? I think they thrive more on the Anna Kournikovas and Maria Sharapovas than anything else. Beach volleyball? Guys watched in droves during the past Olympics in Beijing as Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor won beach volleyball gold. There was controversy when George Bush slapped one of the girls asses. Guys tuned to see those outfits and enjoyed watching the sport as a result. It was great publicity for a sport that most people didn't know was a sport.

The WNBA needs it. The WNBA desperately needs to return to it's original slogan: "We Got Next", now to be loosely translated as "we've got the next huge controversy that is going to catch ESPN/twitter/the blog world/CNN for the next week." Diana Taurasi was only the first step in that process.