A Note On Steve McNair's Sad Ending

The past month of famous deaths has brought many surprises, but when I clicked on ESPN.com one day and saw Steve McNair had been shot to death, I was pretty shocked. I knew very little of McNair off the field but "Air McNair" was as tough an on-the-field player as I have seen. He came within a couple of yards of the Super Bowl in 1999 against the St. Louis Rams and again lost to the eventual Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens the next year. But what will be remembered of McNair may not be his on-the-field play, but his off-the-field exploits thanks to the way he died--and should add to the cautionary tale of athletes who chase after women.

All the stories I've read about McNair make him seem like a great and beloved member of the Tennessee community. He contributed to civic causes and owned a restaurant where he would actually be behind the counter to serve the customers. But it's hard in this circumstance to determine "what is façade and what is reality" in Steve McNair's life, says FanHouse's Jay Mariotti. That's what makes it so tough for those in Tennessee to decide how to mourn him, says ESPN.com's Elizabeth Merrill. The Wall Street Journal's Allen Barra goes even further: "But McNair's career was a reality, not a facade, and so were the hundreds of hours of commitment he gave to community service. The hours he and his wife spent loading food, water and clothes onto trucks for Hurricane Katrina victims (McNair himself arranged for the tractor trailers) and the three children's football camps he personally paid for this year weren't façades." 

The one façade he did put up was for his mistress, Sahel Kazemi, giving her a fantasy life and letting her live the fantasy that McNair was going to leave his wife for her. When that fantasy turned out to be false, she bought a gun for $100, according to ESPN.com, and shot him dead, followed by killing herself. Bronx Banter feels bad for McNair's wife, and I can't help but feel for her as well. She had to deal with him playing a life or death game on the football field for years (and with her husband constantly playing with injuries, she had plenty of reason to worry). In the end, he was done in by one of his mistresses, while Sports By Brooks points out others were uncovered as well. That's probably the saddest part of this whole thing.

The other sad part? Athletes don't learn from each other's mistakes or their own. Whether it is one of these baseball players who still steps out on his wife. Or whether it's Antonio Cromartie who The Big Lead points out has 7 kids now in 5 states. Or whether it's Arturo Gatti whose wife strangled him with her purse straps which just added to the week of bad things happening to ex-athletes who were at odds with lovers, according to Deadspin. 

The Big Lead points out that "Steve McNair did not torture dogs, nor did he discharge a weapon in public". That may be true, but let's remember this is the same man that was pulled over with a blood alcohol level almost twice the legal limit and a handgun in his car. He got off on a technicality. Does that make him any better than Donte Stallworth who served only 24 days? Does it matter? Maybe it is time to just let the story die. As Deadspin points out, the news came out and kept on coming whether it was TMZ with pictures of the girl or a quote by some friend. We put athletes, musicians and other celebrities up as idols when they prove time and time again, they are anything but that. We don't need to always glorify the dead just because they did something we were entertained by in our life. Regardless of how amazing he was on the football field or how much he did for the Tennessee community, is this a guy who we want our kids looking to as a role model? That's why I was happy to see Nancy Pelosi strike down the Michael Jackson resolution: I have no problem with people being upset by his death, but let's not forget this man didn't exactly lead the best life. But while I say let's let it die, let's also let this serve as caution to athletes everywhere: be careful (A-Rod especially should be warned, even if he is sticking to one woman nowadays). It's only a matter of time before this happens again.