If Seinfeld Returned Today, What Would They Talk About...?

I posed this question on Twitter: If Seinfeld returned today what would be the Top 5 topics they would talk about? It's an interesting question for the "show about nothing". A lot has happened in the time since the show went off the air almost 11 years ago, especially in the technology boom. Let's focus there. So here I go with my Top 5 technology issues that Seinfeld would tackle:

 

5) Blackberry/iPhone. A new phone is released and no one wants to seem excited about it but George, Jerry, Elaine and Kramer are all trying to be the first one to get the phone. Once they do, they are hooked but can't let the others know about it. They become addicted with the technology. Hilarity ensues.

4) Out-dated technology. I could see it going a few ways. Jerry (or maybe Elaine) goes on a date and asks a girl for her e-mail address. She says to him that she doesn't have one. He wonders if she's blowing him off or just technologically disinclined. Or maybe George is still on dial-up. Or Kramer buys up a bunch of old analog cell phones to sell to people when the digital world breaks down. How about George goes to use a computer at a library but the guy in front of him is computer illiterate? So many different possibilities here.

3) HDTV/On Demand/DVR/Wireless Internet. This could definitely be a funny dialog between the characters. What does "hi def" really mean? What if other aspects of your life were in high def? What other aspects of your life would you make On Demand? Maybe some dialog on how once you go HD, you can never go back. What happens when Jerry's TV runs out of DVR space or he finds some dirty movies on his cable bill? Or maybe Kramer is stealing wireless internet and the cops show up to arrest him and he has to hire Jackie Chiles...again.

2) YouTube. This would be quite funny. Could definitely see a play on Michael Richard's racial comedy club snafu with Jerry making some joke at a show that comes off as making fun of his girlfriend when taken out of context and it's put up on YouTube by Newman. Or George does something embarrassing and someone posts it on YouTube and he becomes an instantly recognized internet sensation. Or Kramer stars in a YouTube series.

1) Social Networking. I actually got a great suggestion for this one on a social networking website (Twitter). @philkeis suggested that Newman may try to friend Jerry on Facebook and he has to decide whether to accept it and the characters talk about not friending and/or defriending a person. Maybe Elaine is friended by an ex and needs to figured out whether to accept. Maybe George is asked to be in a relationship with a girl he just started dating on Facebook and needs to decide whether to accept or end the relationship. Maybe Kramer is friended by random people and they start showing up at his apartment to hang out. Or maybe George monitors his boss from his Twitter or Facebook status updates. What if Kramer joins MySpace and young girls start friending him and he worries Chris Hanson will show up. Or maybe Newman gets so addicted to Facebook that he needs to go to rehab.  

 

Just bring the show back, please. All of these would be amazing. Any suggestions on other technology-driven plot ideas?