Hockey Player, Masshole, Bathing Suit Stealer

Oh the life of a former NHL enforcer in Massachusetts:

Chris Nilan, a former professional hockey player known for his frequent trips to the penalty box, was arrested on a charge of stealing a bathing suit from the Lord & Taylor store at the South Shore Plaza.

“I just wanted to save a few bucks,” he told police.

Oh boy. And what did the former Canadian, Ranger and Bruin, who was known as "Knuckles" (no relation to the Sonic the Hedgehog character pictured above), steal exactly? Blue Tommy Bahama swim shorts. Not exactly a manly choice for a man who had over 3,000 penalty minutes.

He joins a long list of "interesting" life decisions after hockey. The list includes:

• Bob Probert (3,300 penalty minutes) was arrested after scuffling with police that led to his being shocked with a Taser gun. The craziest part? "Probert still resisted attempts to handcuff him so he was shocked several more times." Now that's a tough man; it took multiple Taser shocks just to be able to handcuff him
• Stu Grimson (over 2,100 penalty minutes) decided to go to a very different route after hockey. He went to law school at the University of Memphis and had one of the quotes of the year in 2005: "I've gone from being the Grim Reaper to being the Grim Reader".
• Ken Baumgartner (over 2,200 penalty minutes) also went that route but one-upped Grimson by going to Harvard Law School. Then again, he was the same guy who yelled at a reporter "What were your GMAT scores? What was your GPA? Where did you go to college?"
• Tony Twist (over 1,100 penalty minutes) made more money after hockey than he did while enforcing it. How? He sued Todd McFarlane for using his name without permission and was awarded $24.5 million.
• Ryan VandenBussche (over 700 penalty minutes) had charges dismissed against him despite engaging in a brawl outside a bar where he punched one police officer in the face, threatened to kill another, and was Tasered three times and pepper-sprayed before being subdued. Sounds like a lax legal system in Canada.
• Link Gaetz (412 penalty minutes) was out of jail on bail despite the fact he threatened to kill his wife and two drunk driving charges. But, the man known as "The Missing Link" in his playing days was right back in court when he tried to use the pledged property put up for his bail in other ways. Sounds like someone was truly missing a link.

Quite an interesting group of guys those former NHL enforcers are. I guess a bunch of punches to the brain will do that.