24 Recap: So I’m About to Marry a Mass Murderer…at the Jersey Shore

If they made a list of worst television girlfriends I would think you would have to put Denny right up there. But do you know who else from this past year goes right up there? Sammy “Sweetheart” from Jersey Shore. And you know what the tell-tale sign of a bad girlfriend is? When she makes the boyfriend get into fights for her only to stab him in the back when the time comes. But if you take this comparison a little further, Ronnie and FP jr have a ton of same personality traits: bad accents, ridiculously delivered lines, undeserved loyalty to a lying girlfriend, and they beat the crap out of people when they fight. I’m sure I could take this analogy a bit further, so as I go through the recap of this game changing episode—with a plot so full of holes, you could drive a fleet full of zodiacs with nuclear rods on it, a human resources department so inept at CTU that Tobey Flenderson from The Office would refuse to work there—we’ll figure out who the rest of the members of 24 equate to which members of Jersey Shore.

Chloe O’Brien as Snooki

Misunderstood at first (or mistaken as slightly “off”--I mean Chloe does look a bit autistic) but knows how to get things done. Also, she’s not a big fan of violence or people telling her what to do. The most disappointing thing about the ending of this episode is that for 59 minutes, Snooki er, Chloe shined. It was her finest piece of work. It was like the episode where Snooki finally got back into the group and was partying with her pals only to get punched in the face by a school teacher. Damn you, harsh world! The dialog between Chloe and Bubba (who doubles as the boss, Brian, here in so many ways) was great this episode. We start the episode off with Bubba whining about losing all aerial surveillance and drone capabilities. Bubba, that’s been a problem since hour 1 this season, why should anything change now? Looking a little shaken up, Chloe asks Bubba if he’s all right and gets the great response: “No, Chloe, I am not okay.” Poor Bubba; first 'Nam, now this!

Things get worse for Bubba when NSA arrives. I could list the amount of times that NSA has screwed things up on this show (all of Season 2 with their moles), but you could tell from the start they weren’t going to be good news for the CTU crew. NSA is on site and pulling power plays. The guy who helped design it is there and he’s not happy what Bubba has done with the place. Does he mean the hole blown through the side of the building or the fact that they allow moles into their operation? Such a loaded statement there when you think about it (don’t think too hard).

Well Chloe is trying to fix things but she’s getting distracted by everyone. First Denny shows up and Chloe tells her to get the heck out of her way. Then she tries to go to Bubba or Arlo the Horndog (who is definitely Pauly D—a good enough guy who just wants to go get drunk and get laid) for help but both aren’t giving her the support she needs. Then she goes down to convince the NSA guys to listen to her but no one is having a bit of her. So, after a quick phone call with Freckles, who tells her to “do what she needs to do”, Chloe does just that. She walks back into the room where NSA is working, demands they follow her plan to drill into the trunk line, and when they don’t listen (and her anger builds), she pulls a gun. “You’re probably an OK guy when you’re not at work,” Chloe said to the NSA guy as she made him leave the room. Poor Chloe/Snooki and their guy troubles.

Read more>>