Amar'e Stoudemire Lights the Menorah? (and other weekly questions)

O.J. Simpson is still not a Jew, but if the newest New York Knick star, Amar'e Carsares Stoudemire, has his way, he may be considered for Adam Sandler's next "Hanukkah Song". Stoudemire says that he may have some Jewish roots on his mother's side and wants to find out more about them.  If you follow Amar'e on Twitter, you may have seen some odd tweets recently about his pilgrimage to Israel and his search for his "Hebrew" roots.We may have to change his Twitter handle from "Amareisreal" to "AmareIsrael", especially considering this interview he filmed with an Israeli news station (H/T Ian):

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Why Can't It Just Be True?: Jeff Baker Lighting His Farts Keeps Him Out of Play

Yeah, you read that right. This is some story...and unfortunately, it's just that: a story. A rumor. A probably wrong, ridiculous rumor. But, oh, how I hope that we find out this is true. From PRO Rumors:

According to hirejimessian.com, Jeff Baker of the Chicago Cubs missed several consecutive days at the end of April and the beginning of May due to a farting accident.  Here’s the post:

By the way, there is a reason Baker has not been starting until today. I know someone in the Cubs organization, who informed me last week that Baker and two pitchers, one of them a starter, were lighting farts in the clubhouse, when something went awry, and Baker suffered second degree burns to his patoot. Even worse, a pitcher got a slight burn on his throwing hand. The hair on Bakers behind got singed, so he is now hairless there. In tonights game, he was lifted for a pinch hitter, something Lou never does. The reason—–the blisters on his bottom burst, causing so much water, that Theriot accused him of wetting his pants. He never came out of the clubhouse, so Lou was forced to put in Fontenot.

There’s no official word from the Cubs, and we shouldn’t expect it. When Carrie Muskat, the beat writer for the Chicago Cubs for MLB.com was questioned about Baker’s whereabouts, she said, “You’re right, Baker hasn’t played since April 26.” I’m wondering if she knows a little more than she wants to say in public.

Wow. I found out about this story from HardballTalk's Craig Calcaterra who tweeted: "Someone please tell me this is true. I'll even accept a 'no comment' that we can all assume to be an admission." I just hope that the Cubs PR person laughing off the call from Deadspin means that they're trying to hint that it's true. Can this just be another thing that pisses off Lou Pinella to no end? Lighting farts is about as American as it gets--a national past time. Everyone is doing it. And while Kenny killed himself in South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut, Jeff Baker may or may not have missed a few days of baseball. In the words of Frank Zappa: "The manly art of fart-burning. Compression, ignition, combustion and exhaust."

Picture from My Cubs Today

Kicking 'Em While They're Down

Deadspin takes aim at ESPN while the New York Post continues their assault on Brooke Hundley. Let's take a look at both on Day 3 of the attacks:

When the New York Post gets into kicking you, they won't let you back up for air for a while. A-Rod was certainly a recipient of this as were many other unfortunate souls. I really don't think Steve Phillips had as many New York Post articles written about him while he was the General Manager of the New York Mets (though "Stevie Nixed" was a classic) The Post was the first to break the story of the Steve Phillips/Brooke Hundley affair. Then Day Two of the story got even more play from the Post. And today the New York Post decided to lay the whammy by sitting outside Hundley's apartment, taking non-too-flattering pictures of the none-too-attractive girl, and then wrote up a none-too-nice article.

The New York Post has so far, in three days called her a "harlot", a "strumpet", "tubby", "portly" (at least twice), "shlubby", and write that she "waddled" away from her apartment. Now that's journalism for you!

Side Note: Now in Adam-Sandler-in-the-Wedding-Singer fashion, can she please stop wearing the Yankees hat before she jinxes the team!

If there's one person more upset with the New York Post coverage than Hundley, it's Deadspin. Deadspin wanted to break the story themselves but ESPN wouldn't help them out in their pursuit. Once the New York Post broke it first, the floodgates of hell opened. Yet hell hath no fury like a blogger scorned. Deadspin then made it their duty to expose "The Worldwide Leader In Sexual Depravity". The ESPN Horndog Dossier was opened and no one was spared: not Erik Kuselias (with Stephania Bell?!?), not Katie Lacey, not even some guy named Jed Drake. They even published the responses to Deadspin's ESPN Witch Trial today.

I think it's time to find a new topic. It was great for a while (hell, we even posted something about it), but eventually they'll need to find a new whipping boy (or girl) because at some point it just becomes over- saturation. I think we may have reached that point.

Deadspin Puts The Turd Icing On the Mets Shit-Cake Of a Season

Gotta love it, the Mets horrible 2009 "Season of Failure" in pictures and videos from Deadspin. I'm pretty sure the Mets dug up an Indian burial ground to build Citi Field. The horrors really started the second they broke ground for this new stadium. I think they need to do a seance and get rid of all those haunting demons.

Steve Phillips has to be busting at the seams that something will replace 2002 in the Mets' fans memory of the most disappointing year ever. You know the one where they traded for Mo Vaughn, Jeromy Bernitz, and Roberto Alomar, drafted Scott Kazmir and traded Jason Bay away for Steve Reed?

Yeah, this one was much, much worse. Gary Sheffield hit his last home run, his 10th of the year, on June 29th and somehow still leads the team (leaving them dangerously close to matching something that hadn't happened since 1928, according to Jayson Stark). I'm pretty sure they've put K-Rod in a protective casing like the Bubble Boy at this point.

Mets fans are trying to put this season out of their memories but Deadspin is trying to make sure they never forget. And the best part? There's still a month left in the season for more Mets shenanigans!

(sorry, Ari, I had to)

You Heard It Here First: Mets Will Play Until The Last Day Of The Season

I've been saying it to my friends and now I need to say it in public so I can be on record: despite how bad the Mets are playing, they will start mounting a comeback this season, springboarding a huge showing against the Rockies this week and push towards a playoff berth. They will play on the last day of the season with a chance to make the playoffs.

And they will lose again.

How is that for torture for Mets fans?

Some more fun links for Metropolitan fans:

• Deadspin looks into that unbelievably bizarre press conference. Amazin' Avenue has the transcript of the press conference. ShysterBall is amazed that Mets can even make the firing of Bernazard a crazy affair.
  
• Adam Rubin responds!
• Buster Olney says that Omar Minaya has shifted the glare to himself now and his own clock is ticking. Rob Neyer notes that Minaya is losing control.
• Deadspin on a sort-of-maybe apology from Minaya
• The New York Times looks at Bernazard's career before this debacle
• Deadspin takes a few more rips at the Mets (picture courtesy of Deadspin, too)
  

And, lastly, I don't know if SNY showing the whole press conference, the interviews afterwards, talking about it on the network and running clips of the meltdown on their website is one of two things: transparency from a team not trying to hide from its mistakes or complete and utter disdain for the fanbase which it seems to want to torture at every turn. It absolutely amazes me that a team that once employed drugged out Doc Gooden and Darryl Strawberry, (allegedly) women-crazy David Cone, firecracker-wielding Vince Coleman, poker-playing Rickey Henderson, reporter-threatening Bobby Bonilla, bleach-spraying Bret Saberhagen, sexually-harassing Steve Phillips and Mo Vaughn could only now be deemed a total mess.

Either way, it keeps A-Rod off the backpages so as a Yankees fan, I can't complain